The other day in
my Gender studies class we were discussing the Feminine mystique and its ideas
on the stereotypes of gender roles, specifically the different types of characteristics
that are considered “masculine” or “feminine.” Our discussion traversed to the topic
of a prominent stereotype that women are naturally more emotional and weak or
unstable than men, and therefore are prone to crying more frequently. Someone
brought up several instances during which their friends mentioned to them they
felt “uncomfortable to see a guy cry”
and it struck me that I couldn’t remember the last time I had cried. Of course there
were numerous times I felt strong emotions of sadness or remorse but apparently
never enough to result in tears.
This made me
think, why exactly do we cry? I know it is a reaction to strong emotion or
sensation but we also cry when we are extremely happy or sometimes when we feel
no emotion at all. After a bit of research I found that there are three main
types of tears. Basal tears: naturally occurring bodily functions that cleanse
the cornea and keep it moist, reflex tears: caused by an irritation of the eye
by a foreign substance in a defense/cleaning response, and “psychic tears”
(crying or weeping tears) due to a strong emotional stress, pleasure,
suffering, pain, or another strong emotion.
The thought of
not being able to remember the last time I cried really stuck with me and had
me questioning myself and state of being. Am I somehow less emotional than
everyone else because I couldn’t remember when I had cried last (and was this
emotional drought applicable for all my emotions)? Is it just that the most
recent instance was insignificant and that is why I can’t recall when or why it
happened? I began to seek answers from my friends and family and to my surprise
I got a very mixed response. Some could recall the day they had last cried
whether it had been very recent or just memorable for them. Others could
remember when but not why, and a decent amount like me, could not even remember
that last time it had happened.
I no longer
believe I am alone in this tear free drought (if it even is a drought or I am
making it out to be more than it really is) and actually, through the writing
of this piece, have remember a time I laughed so hard my eyes began to water
just this past summer. I don’t know if this “counts” or not, but I’m glad
thinking about the topic ended with some sort of self-realization. So now I’ll
end by asking you, the reader, can you remember the last time you cried and if
you can, is this memory in detail or vague and somewhat empty?
I can very clearly remember the last time I cried. During the 2015 soccer season when our team went to state I cried during the award ceremony. This is a very powerful memory because it was the culmination to an very exhausting and successful soccer season and the ending was not what we had expected. The tidal wave of emotion was too much for me to control. I think the fact that I cried was very good and help me cleanse and move on. Thank you for the interesting blog post that made me really think about tears and the last time I cried.
ReplyDeleteI usually can remember the last time I cried, if not the exact date at least the general time. But this is usually because it takes a significant event to make me cry. The last time I cried was over the summer when me and my brother fought over something stupid (I don't remember exactly what it was, just that it was silly). I was really angry and we really went at it, so when our mom dragged us apart I started sobbing because of how vicious we were to each other. It really made me consider my relationship with my brother and how I could strive to improve it, which I think is part of why it's such a vivid memory.
ReplyDeleteI used to almost never cry, that being said I don't cry everyday or even very month. So now being saying this I don't cry that often. I remember distinct time i cried, it was last year during the 2016 soccer season right after we lost the regional game to central. It had to do with the sudden change of mood of the day. You see that day was october 18 or in other words my birthday. I was super happy that day because we had a soccer game. I didn't that there was anyway that we could lose. I went on to the field with the best mindset and played pretty well (I'd like to think). What happend next i didn't really see coming. The defender had made a mistake by passing the ball back to their keeper and i was able to intercept it and it was just me and the goal. I went to kick it and hit under it causing the ball to careen to the far right of the goal and missing. This heart breaking moment felt as if I had let my whole team down and that it was my fault. But yea that's why i cried at that moment.
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