The First Impression

You walk into school wearing that new pair of shoes you’ve been waiting for weeks to come in the mail. The night before you had checked your porch twice maybe three times until the tan package sealed with an irritating amount of scotch tape arrived at your doorstep. You have already planned the outfit for the next day just to make it a little more special, and when the first person notices them the next day and gives you a compliment or their thoughts on the pick, you feel a little flare inside knowing someone else besides you appreciates your choice and opinion.

But what happens if you had the outfit, had the shoes, and even tried to show them off a little without being to obvious, but no one noticed. Does that mean they weren’t as nice as you thought they were or maybe you got the wrong color? Maybe you feel a little down but in the end it’s your opinion on them that matters, right?

Well, maybe not.

The reason you cared a little about the new shoes and the fact that someone noticing them is nice is centered on the impression you make on people, importantly your physical appearance and how you display yourself to the world around you. I find that one can tell a lot about a person by noticing what they wear, how they carry themselves, and what they like to shop for/purchase. Obviously the differences are clear between a man in an expensive business suit and a guy wearing baggy jeans and a hoodie on a skateboard but besides that, looking at what they wear and what reasons they might have for doing so can be extremely revealing.

The businessman is wearing the suit first and foremost to look elegant and important, because most likely in his line of work, this is the impression he wants to give off. However what we don’t account for is that fact that the suit itself is very useful in carrying pens, business cards, and keeping phones and wallets safely hidden. The suit itself can also be changed depending on the weather suitable for both cooler and warmer climates (to a certain degree). Now take the skater for example. The hoodie and jeans might be the style and brands he reps and that’s just generally the “skater look” but there’s more to it than that. The baggy jeans allow for mobility and comfort when doing tricks and the hoodie is also comfortable and something he can easily leave behind at a skate park by accident and not care about too much if its ripped or torn in the process of skating (if the jeans are torn it isn’t that great a deal either).

When we see a man in a suit or a skater in jeans we automatically assume something about them whether that be his status, class or general social placement when often we don’t consider why they might wear certain things for certain reasons. Of course the majority of men in expensive suits I can assume are more financially well off than the majority of skaters on the streets, but it is something interesting to think about.

(This is really just a collection of random thoughts and it may sound materialistic or superficial but I think beyond the slight exaggeration and storytelling, first impressions do matter a lot. Whether that’s the difference between a new pair of shoes at school or wearing a business vs. baggy jeans an a hoodie suit to an interview, that’s up to you to decide.)

Tears

The other day in my Gender studies class we were discussing the Feminine mystique and its ideas on the stereotypes of gender roles, specifically the different types of characteristics that are considered “masculine” or “feminine.” Our discussion traversed to the topic of a prominent stereotype that women are naturally more emotional and weak or unstable than men, and therefore are prone to crying more frequently. Someone brought up several instances during which their friends mentioned to them they felt  “uncomfortable to see a guy cry” and it struck me that I couldn’t remember the last time I had cried. Of course there were numerous times I felt strong emotions of sadness or remorse but apparently never enough to result in tears.

This made me think, why exactly do we cry? I know it is a reaction to strong emotion or sensation but we also cry when we are extremely happy or sometimes when we feel no emotion at all. After a bit of research I found that there are three main types of tears. Basal tears: naturally occurring bodily functions that cleanse the cornea and keep it moist, reflex tears: caused by an irritation of the eye by a foreign substance in a defense/cleaning response, and “psychic tears” (crying or weeping tears) due to a strong emotional stress, pleasure, suffering, pain, or another strong emotion.

The thought of not being able to remember the last time I cried really stuck with me and had me questioning myself and state of being. Am I somehow less emotional than everyone else because I couldn’t remember when I had cried last (and was this emotional drought applicable for all my emotions)? Is it just that the most recent instance was insignificant and that is why I can’t recall when or why it happened? I began to seek answers from my friends and family and to my surprise I got a very mixed response. Some could recall the day they had last cried whether it had been very recent or just memorable for them. Others could remember when but not why, and a decent amount like me, could not even remember that last time it had happened.

I no longer believe I am alone in this tear free drought (if it even is a drought or I am making it out to be more than it really is) and actually, through the writing of this piece, have remember a time I laughed so hard my eyes began to water just this past summer. I don’t know if this “counts” or not, but I’m glad thinking about the topic ended with some sort of self-realization. So now I’ll end by asking you, the reader, can you remember the last time you cried and if you can, is this memory in detail or vague and somewhat empty?